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Two Weeks 2004-07-10

Today it's been 2 weeks since we broke up. And about 5 weeks since I last saw her.

At the time it was a mutual decision - we'd had problems these last couple of months; problems that neither of us knew how to fix; problems that were too big to be ignored.

So when we had "that" phone conversation (yes, you know the one) the outcome wasn't that big of shock to either of us - we were both miserable, of course, but it seemed like the only thing left to do.

20 seconds after I hung up the phone, I regretted the decision. I sat down, thought about what this really meant, and decided that there was no way I could go through with it. We'd been together for a year & a half, and she was the only girlfriend I've ever had that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with. No ifs, ands, or buts, there had to be a way for us to work things out.

I waited 4 days before contacting her again.

My head was clear, I had all my arguments lined up, it all figured out, I was ready for anything she could throw at me.

But when I spoke to her, my arguments fell on deaf ears. It was like I was talking to a different person. And this person was, in fact, quite sure it was the right thing for the both of us, and nothing I said could convince her otherwise.

She had a couple of friends over while we talked on the phone - she finally said that this was not a good time to talk and that I should call her back. I asked her whether there was anything left to talk about.

She said no.