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Email Regrets 2004-07-22

In case you were wondering, yes, I did email her again last night.

After the akward, didn't feel like her at all-phone conversation, I couldn't just let things lie - I had to do something.

So I went through 15 odd drafts; started out with the usual apologies for contacting her, the heartfelt "i miss you - just wanted to see how you were doing"-paragraph, but at some point as I was writing I just wanted to scream why are you doing this to me?.

So I translated that into a lengthy missive that can best be summarized into this hurts like hell. When will it get better?

I was a simple click away from sending it before reason finally took hold of me again - and I ended up writing a shorter, saner email that merely said I had a hard time dealing with this, that I was finding it difficult to cope.

Oddly enough, I felt a little bit better after sending it.

Speaking of coping, my current Friendster profile has turned into quite the little soap box; it now contains sentiments very similar to the ones found on this site (which, of course, would be the sentiments of pain, longing & misery).

One would assume that this would constitute the worst case of dating suicide - especially seeing that my "Who I Want to Meet"-blurb contains the following (rather melodramatic) quote: I've already met her, loved her & lost her.

Yet, that hasn't been the case; my Friendster inbox has been positively flooded with emails since I put it up there.

I guess that some girls' nurturing instincts also extend to a broken heart - which just confirms my suspicions that people are strange beasts, indeed.