Having spent my formative years in Denmark, a country with 4 distinct seasons and a winter so brutal it inspires a psychological disorder, one would assume that I'm used to this.

But, no. I can honestly say that I've never experienced a winter as cold & bleak as the one I'm currently in the midst of out here in Wisconsin.

I had been warned; my suitcase was overflowing with warm coats, hats, gloves and scarfs when I left San Francisco, yet how does one prepare for a climate such as this? Bundling up is all well & good, but when not even 4 layers of clothing offer sufficient protection against the elements, one suddenly realizes the folly of an extended stay in this godforsaken place.

No more, I say - I'm not leaving the house till I have to go to the airport, and if my family doesn't desire a change of scenery, well, then they'll just have to wait another 10 years before I visit them again.