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The Response 2004-08-04

She called me today. We talked on the phone for about 30 minutes, finally got the air cleared, everything laid out in the open.

She told me that she loved me.

But she wasn't in love with me, nor has she had any regrets about the break-up. She was certain that we should not be together, that we weren't compatible, that the problems we'd encountered so far would only get worse if we had stayed together.

She was sorry that I was feeling miserable, and wished there was anything she could do to make it easier.

She also said that she would always care about me and that she hoped at some point, when my feelings had changed, when I'd found somebody else, when some more time had passed ... that we could be friends again.

She called me sweetheart thrice, hon twice.

So I think it's time to finally move on ... there is nothing left for me here.

It hurts, yes, but speaking to her gave me some sort of clarity; it made me realize that she's not going to change her mind.

That no matter what I do, how much time & space I give her, the decision has been made and I'll have to live with it.

I guess she wasn't the one, then. Which, even as I write this, makes me sad - but not unbearably so.

And that's a good sign, right?