Fuck.

Had a serious relapse this evening - was so close to sending her an email, asking her how she was, telling her I'd been feeling better, that things were finally becoming bearable again.

Fortunately, the logical side of my brain kicked in just in time to make me realize that it was pointless.

I mean, what could I hope to get out of this? I'm certain she would have written me back - especially since we haven't talked at all in what seems like forever.

But, honestly, would this have made me feel any better? Would it have helped me in my struggle to get her out of my head and into the x-girlfriend category that she chose to defect to?

Not in the slightest. In fact, I'm quite certain it would have made things worse; would have forced me to start all over. And, god, I really don't want to do that again.